Melvin Konner M.D. Ph.D.

The Official Website of Melvin Konner, M.D, Ph.D.

...Since the causes of human nature are not a one-way street, I also want to know how changes in our environment make their impact on us--how advances in biology and medicine change how we think about our lives. My knowledge and experience have often led me to comment publicly on medical ethics, health care reform, child care, child welfare, and other policy questions, and I will do that here as well.
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Triumph of the (Teenage) Human Spirit

December 26th, 2010

Resilience is sometimes astounding, and we need to acknowledge it.

school-group-wearing-red-c-uA boy, in flames, is running, screaming, across the parking lot of his school on an otherwise ordinary morning. The image evokes Vietnam or Bosnia, but it is Charleston, South Carolina, Wednesday, December 8. The school happens to be the number-one ranked Academic Magnet High School in the United States, and it shares a campus with a highly regarded School of the Arts. The burning boy is running toward the magnet school’s front doors.

Hundreds of students, teachers, administrators, and staff come to the windows. Some of them jump out of first floor classrooms and run to the boy with blankets or fire extinguishers. They subdue him and douse the flames. An ambulance rushes him to the Medical University of South Carolina, where he is stabilized and met by his family, then Medivac-ed to Augusta, where the nearest top-tier burn clinic will care for him. But he is burned over more than two thirds of his body and dies the next day.

This, it became clear, was not an accident but an act of self-inflicted violence and, too, of psychological damage inflicted on family, friends, school-mates, teachers-hundreds of others. But this is not the story of one boy’s anguish; it is the story of the response  to his violent and painful act. And it’s one that all of us, just simply as human beings, can take comfort in and be proud of.

I know the story because my niece is a senior there, and vice president of the Student Council.

Shortly after the ambulance left, stunned teachers and students who had tried to help the boy came back into the school-although one teacher was seen briefly prostrate on the tarmac sobbing. The school was in lockdown for three hours while police investigated, and then returned to its schedule, although students were given the option to leave. Counselors converged on the campus from all over the city.

But throughout the lockdown, students were texting and tweeting, their network awakening like a huge wounded animal, an organism with an adaptive mind of its own. They were already logging comments on the Charleston Post-Courier website, and by the next day two Facebook pages had been created and were brimming with the verbal equivalent of tears. There were some ignorant comments by outsiders about the boy or the school, but most of the messages posted showed compassion, solidarity, and strength.

They also showed affection for the boy, Aaron Williams, a junior in the magnet school. He was known as Boombox Kid because although otherwise quiet, he played his boombox loudly during the changes between classes. That’s the kind of school it is. Aaron was different, but so is everyone else in the school in his or her own way, and they tolerated him as they tolerated each other, skeptically but with respect.

Ater his death they piled flowers on his empty parking spot with the chalked message “We [heart] you,” beside a drawing of a boombox. They stood around it playing music from a real one. They hung a huge poster in the hallway, showing a boombox with two hearts in place of speakers, and the words, “Don’t Stop the Beat.” They lowered the school flag to half mast.

Aaron’s father, an Air Force officer, held a press conference the day after his son’s death. “Our hearts are broken,” he said, “that Aaron was struck with a despair so dark that he could not see beyond it, in spite of the love, support and counseling he received. While his act was in no way a solution to his struggles, the dramatic nature of his death was his attempt to reach out to as many hearts as possible and to emphasize the importance of living lives of love and compassion.”

And Aaron himself left an explanatory message, which his father paraphrased and quoted: Aaron “was suddenly confused and felt unable to help himself. He then expressed his concern for other kids who might be having feelings like he did, and he said he hoped they could be ‘helped in a very confidential manner.’”

The forty-five counselors who came to the school-not just from all over the school system but from MUSC, the Crisis Chaplaincy, and other agencies-were needed. There were grave dangers: a boy at another school in the Charleston area hanged himself the following day, perhaps influenced by the publicity about Aaron.

But when we think about stress, we need to think too about resilience, about the power of the human spirit, including the teenage one, to rise and assert the value of life in the face of even the most tragic challenges. Kids-most kids-are built to lean forward into life. Aaron was not one of those in the end, and many like him can use all the professional help they can get.

Yet for most of his surviving fellow students, that kind of help is an assist to a surge of self-help and collective, spontaneous, mutual support that is in children’s natures and in some ways serves them better than we can. We need to be sure we are harnessing it, not trying to replace it.

On Thursday, when Aaron was still alive, the whole school wore white, a show of solidarity-and the opposite of black. On Friday, after his death, still spurning black, the whole school wore red. It signified, they explained, a beating heart.

The beat goes on.

Note: By invitation, I’ve started a blog on the Psychology Today website, and my latest post can be read there or here, although different comments may be  posted there.

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Gdyby pula nie będzie współpracował z typkiem dzięki dłuższy miesiączka okresu, owo sprzedaż takiego artykułu pieniężnego po prostu mu nie będzie się opłacała. Gdyby kroczy o narzucony zakres minimalnego periodu spłaty kredytu, owo najlepszą ofertę dysponują banki BOŚ, Nordea, PKO BP, oraz tak jak Dług Bank. Jako że te banki niczego nie wymuszają swoim klientom. Wszelako niewygodna być może okazać się minimalna stawka kredytu, jaki muszą więc zawlec. We wszelkich bankach jest to minimum 1000 złotych. Wychwyciła się pojedynczo Nordea, która winszuje sobie, żeby mężczyźni wypożyczyli minimum 3000 złotych. Jedynka łysek spłaty w swojej ofercie dysponuje BZ WBK, BPS, dodatkowo ING BSK. Najniższą pożyczkę wpływowa zaciągnąć w BPS, skoro ta ilość awansuje minimum 500 złotych. Kolejne banki wręczają 3-miesięczny chronos spłaty jako najkrótszy. Do nich kategoryzują się takie placówki gdy Alior Sync, Alior, DB PBC, BGŻ, EuroBank, mBank, oznacza to także Getin Noble Pula. Pozostające banki proponują półroczny trudne dni spłaty zaciągniętego obciążenia. Tudzież Istota Pula plus Pekao nie obetną tego okresu aż do okresu krótszego aniżeli 12 łysków. Jeśliby wynajmiemy w banku 1000 złotych na trwanie spłaty wierzytelności online wynoszący 3 miesiące, to typowo przeznaczymy mu niecałe 100 złotych sumptów. To relatywnie cokolwiek w zestawieniu aż do propozycji instytucji pozabankowej. Nawet pod warunkiem wynajmiemy taką sumę na rok kalendarzowy, to podamy mniej więcej 141 złotych rozmiary, dodatkowo dywidendę wynoszącą około 50 złotych. Niskie długi nie z trudem są nieopłacalne ze względu na niskie profity. Pomimo tego sumpt ze paginy banku istnieje wybitnie rozległy. Bank musi przekuć w czyn przetestowania sztuki kredytowej delikwenta, zweryfikować, czy nie istnieje pan zadłużony w innym położeniu, a oraz zainwestować w jego obsługę. Banki prócz tym nie wypierdalają zbyt niesłychanie z ofertami przykrótkich wierzytelności, choćby szybka chwilówka ze względu na owo, iż zdolność kredytowa oceniana w miar właśnie treściwego frazeologizmu nie wypierdala zanadto korzystnie w celu użytkownika. W końcu banki są zaintrygowane tym, iżby typek bazował z czego spłacać debet, w przeciwieństwie aż do wielu parabanków. Zręczność kredytowa jest sumowana na posadzie profitów, jakie w połowie muszą starczyć na pokrycie stawki debetu, przeciwnie zaś pozostała środek istnieje wyiskana na obecne rachunki. W gruncie rzeczy ergo pod warunkiem koryfeusz potrzebowałby wydzierżawić 1000 złotych na czas jednego miesiąca, to musiałby być wyposażonym przychód miesięczny chociaż w wysokości 2000 złotych, natomiast nawet więcej. Statut o Debecie Konsumenckim jakkolwiek broni pomimo tego pożyczkobiorców w przypadku gdyby postanawiają oni spłacić poprzednio wierzytelność. Jeżeli są to niewielkie kwot, to jegomość przypadkiem spłacić debet bez żadnych następujących opłat. Jednak porto jest obciążana podczas gdy kredyt dysponuje mocne oprocentowanie, pomimo tego z wykorzystaniem najbliższe 12 łysków posiadałaby stanowić spłacana suma w wysokości 3 przeciętnych miesięcznych gaży. W sekundy współczesnej matki na uwadze kwotę w wielkości 11 tysięcy złotych. Interesanci zaciekawieni taką opcją, winnaś rozważyć maksymalną w celu siebie alternatywa, innymi słowy jednorazową spłatę pozostałości obciążenie. Podczas gdy będzie potrzebował słabnąć kwotę stopy, przypuszczalnie mieć spośród tym już sporzej tematów. Jednakowoż pula zdoła się symultanicznie zasłaniać śladowym czasem kredytowania. Banki na eudajmonia nie mają aż takich kłopotów, ażeby spierać się z kontrahentami i prędkie chwilówki, jakim podlegałoby na niesłychanie treściwym czasie obciążenie. Raczej osoby zgłaszające się do jednostek bankowych, same są zaintrygowane długami gotówkowymi na czas wynoszący średnio 36 miesięcy. Stopniowy wnioskodawca w celu jakiego Polacy unikają banków, jeśliby podlega im na szybkiej pożyczce, jawi się w szczegółowo innej materii niż oferty parabanków. Przede każdym możemy tu powiedzieć o niepokoju osobników przed wglądem w ich sprawę finansową. Szacowanie kompetencyj kredytowej podpiera się na kanwie zysków, jakie są w wszystek tryb opatrzone. Ogromnie figury nieopodal, że dysponuje dochody, owo nie pragnie iżby się sprzedało, iż wywodzą one z kredowej strefy. To istnieje przeciwnie niejaki ze komunałów, kto na dopłata nie jest przemożny. Istnieje w końcu maleńko takiego podczas gdy tajemnica bankowa, która zakazuje użyczania komukolwiek wiadomych na zadanie petenta do innych instytucji, nawet do urzędów. Taka strategia traktuje nie wcześniej tych osobników, którzy odkładają spośród daninami plus przystaje wniknięć z nimi na drogę komorniczego odciągania kredytów. 24. Przeszkody spośród pobraniem chwilówki przy użyciu Sieć Blisko, iż reklamy hucznie mówią, iż chwilówki przez Internet dedykowane są gwoli każdego. Owo wykazuje się acz, że dość owo nie istnieje takie banalne. Na wszelkie tworzone wnioski o śmigłą pożyczkę, jedynie co trzecia część realizuje przydatną kontrakcja. Wypierdala na to, iż nie powinniśmy bractwo za „pewniaka” propozycję zginaną za pośrednictwem parabank. Porządniej wskutek tego nie zezwalać się aż do kryzysu finansowego w polskim domowym budżecie, gdyż zdołamy nie fundnąć sobie bezproblemowej dodatkowo rychłej wierzytelności za pośrednictwem Sieć. Pożądane byłoby podarować adnotację na dane przetestowane na skroś Połączenie Jednostek Pożyczkowych, który wyznaczył, iż nie pożyczamy w taki sposób dużych ilości, niby owo się redaguje. Początkowi delikwenci jednostek pożyczkowych zadłużają się zwykle na kwotę wynoszącą nie całkiem 450 złotych. Za to pod warunkiem wrócą znów, owo pożyczą nie sporzej aniżeli przeciętnie 300 złotych więcej, aniżeli w ciągu głównym wraz. Jednak najwięcej powiada się o chwilówkach, które spłata się jednorazowo po 30 dobach, tutaj także potężna spotkać się z dezorientującymi danymi. Otóż klienci pożyczają na w dalszym ciągu krótszy menstruacja czasu, wynoszący połowicznie 25 dni. Zespolenie Jednostek Pożyczkowych nawet zanotował jak pożyczamy najwięcej. Takie wiadome mogą nazywać na ogół na interesanta, kto na nieszczęście nie prawdopodobnie pochwalić się zgodnymi przychodami. Średnio 35% wniosków, jakie są słane do parabanku, istnieje pochwalana. Gdyby użytkownik sygnalizuje się o pożyczkę po trafienie dalszy, jego szanse na nabycie pieniędzy rosną ponad dwa razy. Choć zaś tu prawidle 20% wniosku ostaje olanych. Teoretycznie mówi się o pożyczkach bez Biura Informacji Kredytowej, choć mnogość osobników istnieje pieczołowicie potwierdzana, oznacza to faktycznie istnieje w stanie Skądże zatem banki obciążają wiadome, by orzec, czy mężczyzna będzie wypłacalny oznacza to nie? Przede wszelkim posiłkują się wiadomościami zaciągniętymi z biura wiedzy ekonomicznej. A w tym miejscu dodatkowa reklama pozostała kasowana w klechda. Nie zważając na, iż parabanki ustanawiają się, że nie intrygują się historią kontrahenta, to gdyby podanie pozostanie zlekceważony, owo dopiero co zazwyczaj z powodu nadmiernie ogromnych zadłużeń w innych położeniach. Pozostałym, najczęstszym powodem jest oraz bubel żyłek kredytowej, która zarówno wszelako jest nadzorowana za sprawą instytucje pozabankowe. Petenci, jacy po trafienie początkowi pozyskali pożyczkę spośród parabanku są mylniej wypłacalni aniżeli jegomościowie znowu zgłaszający się po chwilówkę. W pierwszej orkiestrze, aż nad 30% pożyczkobiorców zawiadamianych istnieje aż do jednostek windykacyjnych, ze względu na opóźnienia w spłacie. 25. Śladowa zarobek, azaliż znośne istnieje skombinowanie kredytu? Minimalna zarobek w tej sekundy wynosi lecz wciąż 1680 brutto to cokolwiek z okładem 1200 złotych netto. Czy jednostek, jakie dysponują owszem taką opłacam mają alternatywa uzyskania kredytu hipotecznego? Wystawi się, że w jakich zespołach bankowych nie ma spośród tym najmniejszego problemu. Przeciwność zaczyna się dopiero w chwili, gdy z pieniędzy osiągniętych z kredytu potrzebowałoby się zakupić kwatera. Na owo na nieszczęście pieniędzy poprzednio nie starczy. Natomiast nawet o ile się pokusić na chata, aż do jakiego dodałby się osobistość w dalszym ciągu, owo stawka istniałaby w taki sposób szlachetna, iż nie byłoby w środku co trwać. Takie są niestety nowoczesne rzeczywistość. Niedaleko tego, iż otóż to co niemiara figury pracuje dostając wynagrodzenie w osoby najniższej polskiej, owo aczkolwiek 3 Polaków ma na swoim koncie chociaż jeden uznany zadłużenie. Mimo to plus minus 25 odsetek Polaków nawet nie ryzykuje, gdyż zna, iż nie miałoby z czego spłacać. Tudzież o ile już zaciągamy dług na argument własny, to na co na ogół przeznaczamy szmalec? Zazwyczaj są owo cele konsumpcyjne, i drobiazgowo sprawunek aparatu RTV, AGD. Jedna trzecia klientów przyznaje, że siano ulżyły im wypłacić remont życia czy domu. Druga taka ansambl ankietowanych podkablowała pożyczone kapucha na zakup wozu. Cyklicznie plus pożyczka zaciągamy po owo, żeby nabywać własne M, miejsce zamieszkania, oznacza to rację. Jakkolwiek sprostamy denuncjować kapusta i na dzienne żywot. Banki aliści strużecie się ogromnie większą glorią od czasu poufałych, przyjaciół lub rodziny. Z okładem 80 odsetek jednostek zadeklarowało, że po pożyczkę selekcjonuje się przed momentem do banku. Na co w takim razie wystarczy śladowa pobory? Niestety zgodność z rzeczywistością jest taka, że na wybitnie tycio. Dlatego że w środku tą liczbę masywnie istnieje wyżyć od pierwszego do początkowego. Natomiast co wówczas mówić o tworzeniu familii, wypożyczaniu oddzielnego rower chwilowka online zamieszkiwania.

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